A bisexual is a person who has romantic and/or sexual relations with people of more than one sex. However, since not everyone has necessarily
acted on their sexual/romantic attractions, some people prefer a looser definition; for instance, that a bisexual is a person who, in their own estimation, feels potentially able to
have such attraction. This could be anyone who has erotic, affectionate, or romantic feelings for, fantasies of, and/or experiences with both men and women.
Statistically, many people have experienced some form of erotic attraction toward both sexes, no matter how brief, whether acted upon or not. Research carried out at the Harvard School of Public Health,
USA in 1994 found that 20.8% of the men and 17.8% of the women studied admitted to same-sex sexual attraction/behavior at some time in their lives.
For some people, bisexuality is a phase between homosexuality and heterosexuality; for others it can just be a brief experimentation. But for many people bisexuality
is a lifelong, committed sexual orientation.
Some bisexuals self-identify as gay or lesbian; for them, their primary
sexual interest lies in members of their same sex. Many bisexuals feel they have a "preference" for one gender over another, but they do not deny their attraction for that
other gender. Some bisexuals, however, have no such preference, and instead focus their attractions on qualities they see in an individual regardless of that person's gender. Sometimes
these qualities involve gender, sometimes not. For example, some people find men attractive as men, and women attractive as women; others find people's gender irrelevant.
Some professionals raise the issue that a bisexual person may be denying their homosexuality. These professionals believe that it is difficult for some lesbian
or gay individuals to come to grips with their homosexuality, and for a while, dating members of the opposite sex may make life seem a little more "realistic" and bearable.
However, it is generally accepted that for most people, bisexuality is not an "easy way out," a "denial," or a "middle ground." Many bisexuals have
reported that their sexual orientation has shifted over time. For some people it may be a small shift, others a major change of lifestyle; but this does not make the points in between
in any sense "wrong".
Bisexuals are in the peculiar situation of receiving hatred, distrust, or denial, called biphobia, from elements of both the heterosexual and homosexual communities. Bisexual people are
discriminated against for supposedly being more sexual, more confused, and indecisive. They are accused of being fence-sitters who want the best of both worlds. These myths about bisexuality may force some
bisexuals to conceal who they are, hoping to protect themselves from intolerance from both the gay, lesbian, and heterosexual communities.
If you are bisexual you may be dealing with the issue of whether you should tell your friends, family, or other loved ones. To answer this question you need to look at your life,
and decide that if by telling them you will help yourself, and by not telling them you won't hurt yourself (one doesn't necessarily preclude the other). Both instances, of telling or not telling, can be
problems. They may not accept you, then again, maybe they will. Not telling them may leave you at peace, or it may gnaw at your mind constantly. There are many people in the bisexual community
who can relate good and bad situations that have happened with each different type of decision. But, ultimately, the decision is yours, and must be made by you. A psychologist
or other mental health professional can help you make and carry out your decision regarding this issue and other issues that bisexual persons face. But, as with all personal issues, you must make the
step to make it all possible. |
If you really want help dealing with your feelings and emotions, changing your behavior, and improving your life and the approach and office hours of typical therapists and counselors do not fit your life style or personal needs, I may have a solution.
By using very flexible office appointments, telephone consultations, email, teleconferences, and the willingness to travel and meet with you personally in your home, office, or other location, I can be available to help you anytime and anywhere.
Feel free to contact me now for your free initial consultation. Once you become an existing client, you will be given a pager number where you can reach me whenever you need. |
